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Motherhood & Anxiety

Updated: Jan 26, 2019

#gobagessentials #gobag

Story Time!!!!!

So on Wednesday, while hanging out with my daughter and relaxing, all of a sudden the fire alarm in our building goes off. I jump up and yell for my husband. I run to the front door and open it to see the entire hallway covered in smoke. My ANXIETY LEVEL went through the roof and Mama Bear mode was in full effect.

I slammed the door, rushed to get my coat and purse, then to my daughters room and get her dressed and grab her diaper bag and I am nearly about to jump out the window onto the fire escape, with her, all in less than a minute.

Meanwhile hubby grabs the pets and then he decided to check the hallway..... several of our neighbors were in the hall and discovered it was steam from a huge exposed steam pipe (that is being repaired). It (for some reason) let out a bunch of steam in the building. So needless to say this was a false alarm but it took me about a half hour to calm down and then going to investigate the building myself. I am still very much disturbed by the whole thing.

The following day - this had me thinking - we need to have a plan of action in the event of and emergency. So I prepared a “go bag”...are you familiar with this? This is a bag you would grab in case of emergency evacuation. It is usually recommended that you prepare a bag to keep in your home and one for your car. (see my list of essentials below).

So let us fast forward to Thursday 9:00 pm (last night), here in NYC, the sky lit up bright blue then green and the lights flickered - again I am in true fear and my anxiety is once again up on level 100 and all I can think about is my baby and the fact that I prepared the “go bag” in the nick of time and we now have a family escape plan.

I didn’t know what to think was happening Chemical Warfare? An invasion? WTF?!?!?! Turned out it was a transformer explosion at the power plant. The nearby airport was shut down and the interference stretched miles around! Thank God no one was hurt (allegedly) and at the moment everything seems to be okay.

Needless to say, it has been a very eventful few days and I never before felt fear and anxiety like this, before becoming a mother, and I have been through the events of 9/11 and the NYC 2003 blackout - but never felt this sense of protection and fierceness at such a level. And it’s not just these type of “disasters” but everyday life. Just walking outside and feeling extra protective, activates this level of anxiety and strong need to protect my baby. It is a constant battle I try to control but really it is all to natural - I just have to be careful not to act like a lunatic, lol.

It is a different world now that I have my little girl to look after and protect and I have to be honest it was the main reason that I was okay if I never got pregnant, I wasn't sure if I wanted to bring a little one into this crazy ass world. I didn't know if I would have the capacity to actually protect her in case of an emergency or disaster. But when you have a child something within you pulls out this fierceness and adrenaline that gives you the strength to get through by any means necessary....and some how you are able to put that dizzying, gut wrenching anxiety to the side until you see it all through. Those of you reading this, do you feel me??? Please comment your thoughts on this...I would love to know...

I thought it would be a good idea to share with you my 'go bag' essentials, and these were all things we already had laying around the house, but now prepared to grab at any moment, check it out....

My 'Go Bag' Essentials:

Start with a large backpack and fill it with these items, to start (adjust accordingly)

- First Aid Kit

- Blanket

- Underwear & Socks (for all family members)

- Lighter/Matches & Candle

- Flashlight with extra batteries

- Garbage bags or plastic bags (at least two)

- Latex gloves

- A whistle

- Tape & sharpies

- Copy of every family members important documents (Passport, Birth Certificates, SS Card)

- Water bottles (for each family member)

- Non- Perishable Foods - Energy bars/Granola bars etc.

- Pepper Spray

- Cash

- Baby Wipes & Toilet Paper

- Sanitary Napkins/Diapers

- Toilet paper, bar of soap, toothpaste

- Essentials for pets

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